Saturday, July 21, 2012

Boobies-Nature's Stress Ball


Well, it's been a while and I was hoping the next time I posted "things" would be better. The six year old is off of the old drugs and now onto a depressant. While he is no longer channeling Jack Nicholson in The Shining, he is far from being at peace. In a way I think we are right back where we started. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but them's the brakes.

After all of my observations I have come to the conclusion that my little ADHD gremlin is mainly plagued by serious anxiety. The boy needs some coping skills. GOOD GOD, does he need coping skills ! He isn't able to focus on learning coping skills at the moment because his brain is so wackadoodled. I'm calling his doc on Monday to talk about his medication. Not much I can do about it this weekend so for now we will live our lives inside and away from.....everyone and everything. Yay! Jail's fun, y'all!

So let's talk a little bit about MY coping skills. I'm not going to lie and say I'm a walking copy of Dr. Spock but I have to admit I do try to keep my freak outs to a minimum. When an incident happens my mind instantly goes into hyper drive, trying to fix the problem (and in most cases problems) as fast as I can without someone getting kicked in the ear or pegged in the balls with a DS.

As soon as I think I have things under control I slip out of sight to commence with my super awesome genius coping strategy. I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. Candy. Twizzlers. M&Ms. Skittles. Twix. York's Peppermint. Hershey Bar. Kisses. REESE'S! It's SO awful and I know my body fucking hates me but I'm not joking when I say that it's either candy or alcohol.

On the few occasions where I've had a couple of yummy girly girl drinks I liked it. I liked it WAY too much. I make an effort not to drink more than once a week because I know it would become a problem. Me being large and in charge isn't going to hurt anyone. Me being drunk off my ass all the time would most certainly hurt everyone. Me and sugar- BMFFF.

I'm certain that the amount of stress I feel when I'm around my children during peak freak out time would fucking kill an elephant. Needless to say, the path from my house to the closest gas station (or as I call it "Candyland") is worn the fuck down, baby. I've gained 20 pounds this year. Believe me, I've tried to stop the gross eating but as long as I have 4 boys I don't think that will ever be possible. Besides, they like me "squishy". Being thin is overrated, anyway. One day I'm going to write a post that doesn't have anything to do with crazy children or candy. Do you believe me?

HERE'S JOHNNY!!!....Dang! Look at those teeth!
Why can't I have teeth like that? Oh yeah.....sugar:/