There is nothing more infuriating than the flabby hang over tummy. I have a c-section tummy which is even lovelier than the garden variety vagina birth tummy. Swear to God, I'm a deflated Smurf. I have my good points. The mid region ain't one of them.
All fucking day long I'm bending over to deal with preschoolers. Each and every time I stand back up I must do the oh so embarrassing pantie tummy tuck hike. Gotta stick them thumbs on either side of the pantie, extend the pant waistline out and PLOOP plop the belly into place so that it's tucked "neatly" behind the band, thus containing its girth. So dainty and graceful. I like to pretend no one notices me doing it but how could they not.
After a long day of continuous pantie plopping I rush home so that I may change out of my work panties and into a nice LARGE pair of granny panties. I liken it to Mr. Rogers' sweater change. Although he prolly never had the belly plop issue....I don't think....nope, I don't WANNA think. Oh Jesus now I'm picturing him naked. Gross. Anyway, ANYWAY.....shake it off.....my point is I'm not ashamed to say I find great comfort in knowing that when I come home my great big granny panties are awaiting me. They never let me down. Full frontal coverage with absolutely no plooping plopping Smurf action.
Now talk to me again when (or if....I'm tired and I'd rather stick my hand in a swamp log than diet at the moment) I'm skinny enough to wear pretty panties. But ya know I'm pretty sure even then I'm gonna take refuge in my grannies. Shit, I might even switch to boxers here pretty soon. Oh, that sounds heavenly!
What's your granny pantie comfort item?
Not having to wear panties at all.
ReplyDeleteSounds like SOMEbody needs to put on her big-girl panties. ;P
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