So, I get home from work yesterday to this email from Pinterest:

"Hi Holly,

 We recently removed one of your pins because it goes against our policies. The pin was from your board "curves, vintage and modern" and it originally came from http://d3oeu2l8qd7s1b.cloudfront.net/286939-1038966-7.jpg. Could you please remove any other pins like this from your account? We don’t allow things that are inappropriate for the general public, like sexually explicit pins, anywhere on Pinterest. We do allow works of art and educational pins, like you might see in a museum or classroom. Could you please delete any other pins that go against our policies?

Thanks for your help,
 Ben & The Pinterest Team"

Yeah.....This is the "sexually explicit" pin they removed:

Dear Team Ben (and person who obviously reported this pin),

1. This IS art.
2. I think it's safe to say this is something I WOULD see in a museum.
3. The female form in and of itself is not inappropriate. It is beautiful and elegant.
4. 99% of what I have on Pinterest boards are repinned directly from Pinterest so no, I will not take anything down. You don't like it? You take it down.
5. Thank you and fuck off. 


Sincerely,
Team Alice


Well, I know I feel better:)

I can't resist pictures of children expressing extreme joy. These three are my favorites. When I'm being stupid and down I look at these and all is better.

Dogs scare the hell out of me but she looks so tickled!

I'm choosing to believe this is a joy moment and not a terrified and scarred for life moment. 

The roller skates and those knees!

In other words, I think too much.

There's this lovely thing called the mean girl syndrome....or I guess you could call it an effect or an illness or a phenomenon. Whatever you call it it seems to repeat generation to generation. It's very interesting to me. I say "interesting" because I've fallen prey to the "mean girls" all throughout my life and although my first reaction is to curl up into the fetal position and cry until my head bursts, the very next inclination I have is one of pity and wonder. Being a magnet for evil doesn't mean I have to let it beat me down. So, why not turn it around and approach it from a scientist's perspective? As a truly great teacher at my school says to his students "Don't get furious, get curious". I love that.

No need to go into what happened and who said what. That part is my burden. Running over and over every situation in my mind to try and determine the root of why someone doesn't particularly care for me to the point of exhaustion is one of my many super powers. Sounds torturous but after days of doing this somehow I eventually find peace and move on. Flooding;)

What it all boils down to..."determining the root of why". Why are these women the way they are? Why is it so important to tear someone down in order to feel awesome about themselves? There are so many different ways to go about feeling awesome without hurting another human being. Also, why are these people so many times characterized as being "leaders"? "Well, she's bossy now but I believe when she's an adult she will be a leader!!!" OK. How about telling that "bossy" girlchild that being a good leader.....fuck, being a good person doesn't involved manipulation? How about explaining to that future leader the concept of integrity and humility and empathy? Or we can simplify it if that's too difficult. How about laying out for them what's right and what's wrong? I'd venture to guess that these adult mean girls didn't have that someone in their lives to spell out any of those concepts and that's where my pity comes in.

A dear friend's daughter recently participated in something called an Instagram Beauty Contest, completely inadvertently, of course. It seemed harmless enough to her. You post pictures of your friends and people vote for the ones that are the prettiest. Each time they vote someone gets eliminated. The person left standing is considered the prettiest. She's way too young to understand the ramifications of this crazy ass game and honestly if I hadn't seen a news report the night before I never would have thought anything of it. It isn't like they were outright calling girls ugly.....but the implication was certainly there. So, being the awesome Momma that she is, my friend explained to her daughter how this game was wrong. On her own volition, her daughter immediately took down the contest.

I think that intervention....that clarification of what's right and what's wrong.....wasn't provided for the adult mean girls in my situation. In fact, calling them "mean girls" isn't right. They aren't mean. They're incomplete. Maybe they weren't taught to be curious enough....to find out why people are different from them.....to celebrate differences and instead of highlighting people's weaknesses, celebrate their strengths. Embrace what each person can bring to the table....don't chip away at what's broken. If you can't get past the broken parts, then for god's sake help them repair what's broken. That's what I would want. That's what I DO want. You see a part of me you don't like.....a part you consider unrefined and broken??? By all means, give me some help to try and build that part up. If it's going to make me a better person....a better Momma...a better teacher...I want what you have to offer.

Seek to think deeper. The curiouser you are, the more easily attainable empathy becomes.

God bless my dear sweet friends for trying to help me out of the summer blues by inviting me to block parties and various other anxiety inducing social functions. I can't help but feeling like this pup in those situations, though.

I adore the look on his face. So can relate.

Cabbage Soup Detox Diary- Day 4-7 (see Day 1-3 in the previous post)

Day 4: BANANAS AND MILK!!! (thank god I love bananas)
For breakfast I made a banana, skim milk, and yogurt smoothie. It was the most sugar I've had in 3 days and my heart was beating out of my chest! Maybe shoulda not put in the yogurt:/. For my main food all day I had the throw up soup.....oddly it tasted really good after all that sugar...so I'm not gonna call it that anymore, I guess. The awesome thing about this day is I could go visit a friend and drink coffee with almond milk and eat bananas for hours. I'm a creature of habit and two situations are synonymous with munching...visiting with friends and watching a movie.

Challenge: I get the summer blues (and yes, that is a real thing.....thankyouveryfuckingmuch, "therapists"). Today I was down and I think it had something to do with the sugar aspect. If you have a sensitivity to sugar I suggest skipping the yogurt and maybe limiting yourself to 5 bananas. Spread it out by making a big batch of banana smoothies (skim milk, ice, bananas, titch of water mixed with sugar substitute) and sip on that all day. Eat a ton of the cabbage soup to give you the chewing satisfaction.

Day 5: PROTEIN AND TOMATOES!!! (changed the cabbage soup a bit today by adding chilies and veggie stock instead of chicken stock.....spicy;)

Actually, either I've turned into a pod person or this soup is growing on me...looking a little less throw uppey.

Oh how I've been looking forward to this one! I love grilled chicken! My plan was to grill up some chicken and maters and eat chicken all fucking day. Fired up the grill, put the chicken on, came back to flip them and what do ya know?....raw bird. Completely out of gas:(. For lunch I had to eat tuna from the pouch rather quickly as the cats circled me menacingly. For dinner, though, I added ground beef to the cabbage soup and I SWEAR it tasted like spaghetti!!! Of course, at this point I might be a tad delusional.

Challenge: Honestly, I wasn't all that challenged today. My blues are better (sugar really is the devil's doing) and I wasn't even tempted by the pancakes I made the boys for dinner....and I make some pretty rad pancakes.

DAY 6: PROTEIN AND VEGGIES (notice no exclamation marks)
I had dental work today and had some....other personal issues came up so this day was difficult. Basically I did the same thing I did yesterday only with SURPRISE asparagus. Still, I took the boys to get ice cream and I wasn't tempted:). One more day to go.

Day 7: Fruit, Veggies, and Juices!!! (welcome back, my beloved watermelon)
Breakfast was frozen dark cherries, warmed in the microwave for a minute and cranberry juice. Lunch: see "challenge" below. Dinner: cabbage soup, veggie burger, frozen cherries. And I wasn't even hungry during the hungry hours (7-10). BOOM!

Challenge: I had a teacher training to go to today and everyone knows that bowls of miniature candy on every fucking table go hand in hand with teacher trainings. A little relocation of the mini chocolate sirens and I was perfectly fine....until the guy that sat next to me relocated them back to my side and continued to munch on them all day. Asshole. No really, he was nice. His chocolate breath blowing on me every time he spoke was something I could have done without but whatever. Another challenge-lunch! I forgot that I had given my son the house key when I dropped him with his Grandma this morning. When I arrived at my house on lunch break I was ready to eat my weight in cabbage soup. Yep. Didn't even occur to me that I couldn't get it the damn house. I ran to the store and bought some fruit cups to eat at the afternoon training......of course I forgot the fact that I would need some kind of utensil with which to eat the fruit. Not a good memory day.

Overall Result: 
Never been a fan of scales so I have no idea how much weight I lost but since that wasn't the point from the get go I'm not heart broken. In general, I feel great! Also, the size 10 bathing suit I bought before I did the detox is now too big, so THERE! I'm a little trepidatious about what's going to happen from now on. So, I decided to do the Jillian Michael's detox tea for the next week (because it's a good detox tea and because she's my gay role model). I'm going to try to eat like a normal person and drink the tea at the same time. The idea of making my body healthy is even more appealing now that I know how easy it can be. Really, this week hasn't been all that difficult. I never starved (except for maybe on the all veggie day) and I never got bored with it. "Very doable" is my official stance on the cabbage soup detox. Thumbs up!!!

Cabbage Soup Detox Diary

So I'm always the last to know about all these diet fads and I'm sure there are a million reasons why NOT to do the cabbage diet but I say "fuck it". My biggest concern at this point is the amount of grossness that I put in my body. The cabbage diet is supposed to be a good safe detox from all the sugar, carbs, and general nastiness we put in our bellies. The juice diet didn't do it for me because I needed to chew something. Well, I will definitely get to chew on this one. Chewing's awesome:D. I researched a lot of different blogs with the recipe and description of each day. The Divas Can Cook one wasn't stupid so I'm going with that one. So here we go!


Day 1: FRUIT DAY! (sweet sweet watermelon....oh and puke in a bowl)

Warning! Do NOT eat with your eyes!

Cabbage soup- not bad for a half a day....after the hungers set in I was practically eating watermelon and droopy cabbage with my hands. I'm not hungry but the sugar that's seeping out of my body is trying to find something to make it hush.

Challenge: The 4 year old has been having asthma attack after asthma attack all fucking day. Every time I hear him cough I want to run to the pantry and lick the nutella jar clean (since I cleaned all the naughty stuff out, nutella is the naughtiest thing I have around). Not being able to help him makes me so crazy cakes!

Day 2: VEGGIE DAY! (ew)

"Prewashed and Ready to Eat Steam in the Bag Stinky Pee Asparagus", I love you!

A lot easier even though it's veggie day. I had a steamed and mashed potato for breakfast....then asparagus all day long (you can eat as much veggies as you want today but asparagus are the only veggie I don't hate). I got sick of the cabbage today but the broth is still yummy.

Challenge: I had a friend over tonight night and it was hard to not want the yummy drink he was having!!! I'm a sucker for sweet adult beverages:(. BUT I stayed strong!!! GO ME!

Day 3: VEGGIE AND FRUIT DAY!

Looks like I slaughtered a fuckin' gremlin and ate it with the pink shit that came out of the Poltergeist hole. Appetizing.

My boys are gone and the only thing prying me out of bed this morning was the thought of that giant beautiful watermelon on the fridge;)Not supposed to eat a potato today but I found this day to be difficult so I cheated and mixed in a little veggie patty with my cabbage. I also had all the fruit and veggies I can handle.

Challenge: After calculating my budget for the summer I realized I can only spend about $130 a week (and that's pushing it). My boys eat on an average $150 worth of food a week. Plus, I wanted to take them on a trip at the end of the summer so knock off another $50 a week to save for that trip. Plus, my friend is getting married so I will need to save for THAT trip....another $10 a week to save. Oy.
1. Calculating how much money we eat a week makes me hungry.
2. Wedding cake=hungry.
3. Beach Trip=thoughts of banana dacharies=HUNGRY!
4. Broken period button on the keyboard that I have to press down on with with strength of a a motherfucking elephant every time I use it=SOFUCKINGHUNGRY!!!

Thoughts on Day 1-3: I don't weigh myself so as far as being able to lose 10 pounds on this I wouldn't be the one to ask. BUT I do have a lot more energy and I haven't had a candy bar in 3 days!!! I think this is a good start to a "diet" or just to eating better. Tomorrow begins bananapalooza and I'm quite excited about that because I LOVE bananas!!!

Summer Brain

The awesome thing about being on a different schedule than 50% of my offspring is it further adds to my inability to get my shit together when I'm off my routine. 

SCHOOL'S OUT! Carefree livin', baby! No responsibilities.....don't gotta be anywhere at any particular time....I am FREE!!!....SHIT! The middle dudes still have 2 more weeks of school!!!


No problem. I can just roll out of bed at 10 till 8 and run them to school, right? Yeah, that's cool. No need (or time) to slap on a bra. Just throw on an ultra unflattering tube top dress and GO! I'm coming right back home, for Pete's sake.....right????? ......

5 minutes to get out the door and the 4 year old has an asthma attack...the 9 year old decides to rub nutella all over the 7 year old because....who the fuck remembers why...the 12 year old won't stop texting me FROM HIS ROOM...

Getting everyone dressed and in the car was a blur. I think I blacked out at one point. Of course, I didn't even notice the flatter than flat tire:/

So, I get almost to the boys' school before some nice little lady in a dually truck gives me the wide eyed over the top mime for "YOU HAVE A FLAT TIRE!!!!" I replied with a mimed "FUCK MY LIFE AND THANK YOU!!!" I was super close to school and I didn't hear any metal griding so I pressed on and crossed my fingers. After dropping off tweedle dee and tweedle oblivious I did begin to hear grinding so I pulled over and called my buds at AAA. Cue the 4 year old. He adores phone call time. Smart little booger that he is, he positioned himself in the very back of the van (outside of spanking reach) before he began with his glorious hyena screams and jackassery "fun". 

AAA Lady: Can you verify your address?

Me: ....shit...well, I've moved like 4 times in the past 3 years sooooo is it the PO Box?

AAA Lady: I'm not seeing a PO Box.

Me: HONEY, I CAN'T HELP YOU! I HAVE A CUP! DO YOU WANT TO POOP IN A CUP?

AAA Lady: I'm sorry?

Me: Sorry!!!...uh....is it the one ooooooooon...Futrall??? Fal...core???? (Good one, genius. That's the luck dragon on The Neverending Story).

AAA Lady: I have one on Falcon.

Me: THAT'S IT! ........CLOSE THE UMBRELLA NOW!!!!

Sweet Jesus.

So, the AAA man came and couldn't have been nicer. Of course, the whole time we were talking I was thinking "I saw your hiney. I saw your hiney. I don't have a bra on and I saw your hiney". While he changed my tire he explained how the screw that was in my tire had to have been PUT there on purpose. Then he asked if I had any enemies. That's always a fun joke. I was running through all the possible suspects (whatever, everyone loves me.....heh) when my Dad showed up to whisk my 4 year old off to the nearest toilet (we'll save the cup for another day....thankfuckingGOD). Before he left, my 4 year old had to ask the AAA man if he was a man or a woman. That's his favorite question. Harmless enough question....except when we encounter an extremely feminine man or a masculine woman. In this situation we were ok but later in the day we were not so lucky. But that's a story for another time. 

Today's lessons: 
1. It takes a millisecond to get a fucking bra on, so do it.
2. I need a bucket for the van.
3....I tried to think of a third but really 1 and 2 are probably the most crucial life skill lessons I got out of today.

The Calm Because of the Storm

Most of the time when I write an entry I do the writing and then I hunt for images to amp up the writing. This time I've been inspired to create an entry around an image. Tornadoes and scary storms abound during our Springtime months. To most people this is terrifying, as it should be. Driving in the rain freaks me the fuck out, I'm the first to admit that. However, I have to say sitting in the dark on my couch and listening to an Earth shaking storm is one of my favorite things to do. I hope I don't sound disrespectful to those who have lost their families and/or homes in a tornado. Of course, I feel for them and would never wish that on anyone. Having said that, there is a level of respect I have for the storm itself. The power and intensity calms me. Seems like that would have the opposite effect on me but it doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I have a strong will to survive but when it comes to competition...hell no. There's no competing with mother nature. Strip away competition and ego and there you have awe.

The woman in the photograph seems to be celebrating the storm. This is something I would most certainly do during a summer storm if I didn't think my neighbors would call the popo and have me committed. When I was younger I would gladly play in the rain for hours. The first time I ran a mile it was pouring, lightening and thunder all around me. I feel invigorated when it storms....clean, new, energized...I feel almost like it wouldn't surprise or upset me if the storm itself scooped me up and swallowed me. Of course, if that really happened it wouldn't be near as elegant and loving as I imagine. It would be terrifying. But if I had to choose....be paralyzed with fear so much so that it kept me from experiencing something so inherently beautiful....or embrace the beauty within the monster and appreciate its power???? If I had the choice, then I choose the celebration.

These storms are all around us. Our lives are inundated with storms. Heartbreak, failure, vulnerability, illness...they are all storms. But within each one of these storms there is always at least a sliver of celebration to be had. If we look hard enough we can see why we should appreciate the significance of these storms. I feel anger. I feel sorrow and doubt and disgust and confusion and outright rage. But shortly after the onset of these reactions to my storms that celebratory instinct eases in and I begin to feel that strange sense of awe. I might not be able to explain it but I can sure as hell appreciate it. It even has a name- to some it's faith, to me it's hope.

I know a lot of people who cannot move past the initial reactions to their storms and I feel for them. The emotions that go along with storms in nature as well as metaphorical storms in one's life can be crippling. To those people I wish I could give a little piece of that part of me that is comforted by the storms. I really do. I wish they could see what I see and feel what I feel. Peace, serenity, abandon, and adoration. Sliver of sun. Sliver of hope.

When you are a mother of 4 boys...nothing is sacred...not even your fucking knitting!!! 

Bruce is sporting a lovely green circle scarf/semi automatic gun holster with pink trimming. Simply elegant for Spring.

He thinks he's dressed like a Buddhist ninja. I didn't have the heart to tell him he looked like Mama from Mama's Family.

After the jackass dress up extravaganza the 7 year old informed me that "someone" needed to clean up the pee (HIS pee, mind you) that was all over my bathroom floor in a way that was not unlike a grocery story manager coming over the intercom to announce "we need a clean up in aisle 4". My knitting and my bathroom, both confiscated and marked.That was my Sunday evening. You're welcome.

I can't stop listening to this beautiful song. It makes me sob every time I listen to it.

I can't change,

even if I tried

even if I wanted to

my love, my love, my love

she keeps me warm,

she keeps me warm,

she keeps me warm...

By Alexandra Levasseur

For some reason I've always felt like I had to be funny in order to post on here. I say "for some reason" like I don't know....I know exactly what my deal is. But that's for another post (but probably not;). I figure no one reads this anyway so what the fuck. Why not use it any which way I like. That's the point of these things, right? To get out....whatever? To brag about how beautiful your food prep skills are...to whine about how unfair and shitty your life is...to shock people in order to get a rise out of them...to be someone different than the person you are in reality??? Because in reality your food tastes like shit...your life is boring as all hell...and your inner demons keep you from developing a personality that lends itself to being ballsy enough to say what's really on your mind. This is MY blog, right? So, fuck it. I'll say what I want, when I want....yeah, I'm not that brave. I guess I'll say some things that I want to get out but in a semi tactful manner and at the appropriate time. Best I can do. As much as I love to cuss, I'm still Ms. Manners, through and through.

What's on my mind? Hmmm....well, for starters...why does love need to be difficult? If it isn't difficult, then is it even considered love? I've been with people that are very pleasant to be around but there was zero passion. On the other end of the spectrum are the people I've had such intense passion for that it is impossible to be with them without wanting to fucking kill them. Why can't there be both passion AND normalcy? Or maybe there can but I'm just not programed that way. How come I'm not? Maybe I'm just meant to be alone. That's my love conundrum.

Motherhood. It's Mother's Day and I feel like the prom queen that was voted to the throne by default simply because she was the only girl in the entire class. I don't feel like I deserve all this praise and adoration for a job I've fallen down on more times than I can count. My kids are lucky if their teeth get brushed twice a week. I maybe cook a hot mean once a week...the rest of the time it's grilled cheese and hot dogs. I let them stay up way too fucking late...I hide under the covers from them...I turn up the air purifier to drown out the coughing at night...I let them watch crap on tv that's sure to drop their IQ...I don't do friend birthday parties...cookie cake and take out is about all I can muster. I don't deserve the pedestal. Take it the fuck away. It just reminds me of what a horrible Momma I am. That's my Mother's Day conundrum.

My weight. I'm doing my best...that's a lie...I'm not at all even trying.

Life. The problem is I still feel adrift. I keep falling in love with people I can't have, not living up to my full Momma potential, and completely sabotaging my ability to get my body healthy. Repeated rut. Over and over. I'm not in a full on depression. The fog hasn't come, thank god. Like the beautiful woman in the painting, my eyes are closed but my head is above the water. I'm still clear headed and in charge. I work hard at being a teacher....that's about the only thing I put all my effort into. If I could take  just a smidge of that effort and spread that smidge evenly amongst the other aspects of my life, then I think everything would be alright. I'm not going to be perfect. I won't find the perfect love. I will never be the perfect Momma. I will ALWAYS love food so I don't think having a perfect body is something I even want. Consistent happiness. That's what I want. To feel content, not perfect. Just content....with a dash of passion.

I think I need to write more and think less. I'm going to try to do that.

Alice- The Part Time Good Choice Maker

   

     I've made an interesting introspective observation about my online activity choices and how they make me feel. Being on Facebook....well....I don't think I have to go into detail here. Pretty much makes me feel like Creepy McCreeperson every single time I loggon. 'Bout sums it up. I almost always experience these weird anxious butterflies when I'm on there. I feel like I'm missing something...or waiting for something....or late for something. Anyone who knows me knows full well that being late for anything is serious business in my world. Freaks me out. Cannot stand the thought of NOT being fuckin' early. Anyway, that's how facebook makes me feel and yet there I am...motherfuckin trolling along. That isn't a new realization, though.

     Now comes the precious new lightbulb. How do I feel when I'm on Pinterest? I hear a lot of people say they feel overwhelmed when they are on there and I can understand that. Pin after pin after pin of visual information. That could be too much for some people. Not me. When I get on Pinterest I immediately get this calming feeling. It covers me like a comfy cozy blanket. Huge fan of the visual stimuli, rightcheer!

     There isn't any jealousy/envy or competitiveness OR anxiousness involved in perusing Pinterest. See somethin' ya like, create a board, pin it.....and then keep on a pinnin'. I don't do it for anyone but myself....a lot like this here blog. My absolute favorite thing to find pins for is my "The House That Alice is Going to Build" board. Now that I've achieved my goal of finding a job (not only "a" job my the job of my dreams) I'm going to keep going until I have everything I've ever wanted. Pinterest allows me to put all those ideas in one beautiful spot-a folder containing lovely pictures of everything I could possibly want in my dream abode!

Yes, I wanna live in a barn. 

     I'm an optimist, not a moron. I know attaining this goal isn't going to be easy or fast. Luckily, on top of being an optimist and non-moron I'm an extreme procrastinator (kind of like an extreme hoarder only with less flies;). That means I can believe I will have my house as much as I want for a really really REALLY long time:D. Just thinking and planning by pinning the hours away makes me content.

     But planning my cabin/barn dream home in the woods isn't the only thing I think about when I'm on Pinterest. Pinterest has saved my teacher ass many times over. I can type in anything and come up with lesson plans and strategies galore! I can do this on google, of course, but Pinterest filters all the fuck ton of crappy lessons out of the bunch. Alls I gets is the good stuff, baby:). Let's see, what else.....food? Fuck yeah! DIY crafty shit? Yepper!!! Ideas for getting my 4 year old to stop whining?.....not as of yet but I'm not giving up hope. Why? Because I'm a motherfucking optimista and I believe in Pinterest! Kinda the way children believe in Santa:D. Actually, it does kinda feel like Christmas morning when I hit refresh and see 500 new pins to sift through:)

     Does this mean I'm going to give up Facebook? Probably not. However, the good news is I feel a nice little balance within the force. When I'm up late eyeballing someone's page and feeling ookier than a motherfucker I am comforted with the fact that I can shoot on over to Pinterest for my sin atonement. Instant balance. My creeper anxiety subsides and I'm once again knee deep in enticing photographs of indoor hammock swings and pithy posters of bored looking kittens proclaiming their hatred for Mondays. BALANCE...and good choices....with a little dab of trouble. That's me;)

When Dove Cries...because I prefer the parody over the real deal.

   

 I do things completely ass backwards most of the time...I also tend to do things half assed. Come to think of it I have no idea how I am able to accomplish anything. Anyway, true to form I watched the male Dove Experiment parody before I watched the real version (but I did watch it all the way through....so HA!). I'm not super sentimental nor do I have 50 billions hours of free time so I thought I'd skip the lady one without really missing anything fabulous. And I was right. Although it's beautiful and poignant, it didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. I adored the Dove real body pictures where the women of all sizes posed naked much better.

Well, fuck. I coulda sworn they were nakies. Oh well. Still awesome. 

Anyway, I was watching the real version when Marco comes in and asks what I was watching. So I explained what the commercial was all about, which was really difficult to do in 10 words or less....that's about his attention span if there aren't drums or a laser light show involved. I cut to the chase when I saw the glazed look and simply said, "it is trying to imply that women don't see how beautiful they really are" to which he replied, "Or how ugly they really are". He was dead serious! I tried to explain it 2 more times and finally gave up. Before he left the room he put his arm around my shoulder and said "I get it...you know, you don't know how beautiful YOU are".

HUH!?!!?! I don't know why I'm surprised. He's Wayne Newton in a 9 year old's body. Full-o-charm. Last night he joined me outside for my nightly picnic dinner. We ate and talked and mocked Ari (the 4 year old) together...Ari has a radar on me that alerts him when I sit down or feel any joy what-so-ever. He gets the signal that I'm content and rushes to demand something, ANYTHING...as long as it requires me getting up or experiencing discomfort. Then and only then does he feels like he's done his job as a 4 year old. Anyway, even Ari's plot didn't harsh my mellow. It was still so sweet getting to hang out with Marco. I flashed forward 20 years to us hanging out on his back porch and mocking HIS 4 year old as we enjoyed a nice burger. My little bright white Wayne Newton:). Of course lil Wayne just got sent to bed at 7:00PM for sitting on his brother until he puked. Nah, still good:)

PS I almost put up a pictures of Wayne but upon closer inspection via google I decided....um...no. I kinda wanna say something about the scary factor but I think I'll just gracefully/awkwardly fade away............