Monday, June 20, 2011

Day- I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE WHO IS EATING CHOCOLATE IN FRONT OF ME

Day 1 (do over.....bad crap food weekend): This morning my eyes popped open at 6:18 and I realized I didn't set my alarm for 6:10 the night before. "Oh well, I can go back to sleep and run after work" I says to myself.....then I says to myself, I says "GET YOUR FAT ASS UP, HO!". I'm not a morning person;). I did a run walk today because I wasn't feeling the running thing and to be honest my thighs felt more worked today than they did last week when I was running....odd. I did the Kashi crap for breakfast...blahlblahblah....I swear, if I had any money (and seriously, I don't even have a cent to spare) I'd run to the store and find things to vary this shit up because it's getting OLD! Anyway, I had a veggie burger for lunch (something that never gets old!!!) with cherry tomatoes and real cherries for dessert.

Kill Me Moment: So I'm off work this week and I'm going to a workshop everyday from 8-MFing 3:30. Thank God the teacher lady is obnoxiously high energy so I can focus on making fun of her and not on how insanely famished I am. So I'm fading fast, right, and the day is almost over so I'm trying to keep it together but all I want to do is crawl under the table, cover myself with sticky notes and melt into non-existence. All of a sudden the freaking teacher plops down a ziploc bag of fucking 12 different kinds of CHOCOLATE! Are you fucking kidding me with this shit???? Really? Apparently I didn't mask my astonishment for what had just been basically laid in my lap because other people chuckled at my reaction. I was dead serious with that reaction, too. Of all people she had to put that in front of ME??? Shitfucker! I deserve something expensive and pretty for abstaining from that candy AND for not punching her in the boob! Damn.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Day [mumbles incoherent numbers]

Well.....yeah. Yesterday began great! I ran, I had a plan, I stuck to the plan....and then the party ate my plan up and spit it at me with the force equal to that of a certain 2 year old throwing his sippy cup at the flat screen tv when he's pumped up from a particularly enthralling episode of Tom and Jerry. Some PEOPLE at the party kept filling my drinky cup and when Alice drinks Alice no longer cares which foods she is allowed to eat. I ate it all...and I'm still eating it all. BUT never fear because tomorrow is a new day! In fact I'm going to go out on a limb here and proclaim that the diet time out is now over. I'm a lil sick to my tummy :X. Sometimes ya gotta do that, though. I'm not too rattled. Running makes me deliriously happy and I have every confidence that I will be up at 7 tomorrow morning ready to feel the burn, baby!

Nap time.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Day 4 &5 1/2

Ooops! I forgot to be accountable yesterday. My bad. Yesterday went fine. I ran a mile and ate like a normal person (that's what I consider dieting;). I'm turning into Jared. Subway everyday, baby!

Day 5: This morning I ran a mile and then walked/ran another mile. I plan to clean my ass off today so the food situation will prolly look something like : breakfast-Kashi, Snack-banana, Lunch- soup (ew....hopefully not but I'm not sure what I have), Snack-popcorn and Diet Cherry Creme Blue Sky (it's growing on me....sort of ), Dinner-Lean Cuisine Egg Roll.

Observations: So since I didn't have work today I decided to go running later than than I normally do. VACATION! Usually there isn't anyone out when I'm running but today there was one other runner, a woman with a baby jogger. She had long brown hair and about my height. We passed each other three times because apparently we were on the same loop going the opposite direction. Each time I passed her I thought "Damn, she looks familiar". I finally realized that she reminded me of me after I had my first born. He hated to be indoors so I think I lost 50 pounds in 6 months just jogging him all over town. I loved every second of it. At first he was in the front pack (which hard core built up my back muscles;) but once he got huge he had to go in the baby jogger. I'm glad I had that time with him....since he is now 10 and pretty much thinks I'm the biggest dumb ass that every walked the Earth:/.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Boobs Rule

Day 2 1/2: So last night I had a chicken enchilada. I just can't resist a good slow cooked meat, especially chicken. I'm like that freaky girl on Girl Interrupted that had a thing for chicken. I don't keep it under my bed or anything....well, to be fair I don't *have* an "under my bed" since it's on the floor but I would like to think I'm not that insane:). Again, no promises.

Day 3: Due to the aforementioned chicken incident I decided to go ahead and run as far as my little chubby legs could take me. Today that happened to be 9/10 of a mile. MFing YAY ME!!! Almost a mile, son! AND I went to a BBQ place to meet friends and I did not eat a damn thing. I did have a diet coke with my Subway. The shame:/.

Observation: Today was the second time this month someone has assumed I'm with child while wearing a certain dress. I know I should break up with it but dammit, my boobs look too good in it and it's comfortable as hell! It stays. Apparently I need to send a memo to all the ladies in Fayetteville explaining suspected pregnancy etiquette. Christ! Not cool.

Past my bedtime!!! The boob cakes have little to do with this post but does it matter?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Day 2: [whispers] I See Chocolate People

Today was a little better. I didn't have a headache and I didn't feel like death....well, not as much as yesterday, anyway. I ran but I still didn't have enough time so I guess I'm going to have to hawl my ass up earlier. Joy.

Plan: I ate the same thing I did yesterday but I added little tomatoes:). LOVE them lil boogers. I like to take a bite of my veggie burger and then pop one in to complete the bite. I'm way too lazy to actually slice a tomato and stick in on the burger. Snack- popcorn and Dark Cherry Blue Sky (I'm not dead). Tonight I'm going to a friend's for dinner so of course I'm eating before I go. My Great Aunt Leisel would roll over in her grave if she knew I was being that rude but I gotta.

Observations: 92% of what I talk about is food. Today my coworkers and I were talking about everything we love to eat. At first it was crap....Doritos, Symphony bars (yes, I can eat an entire LARGE one in under 20;).....LOL, I've been sitting here trying to think about what else but I can't get the image of the Symphony bar out of my head! I'm not joking. Anyway, at first we talked about the crap but then at some point we were talking about green bell peppers and cucumbers and grapefruits. There will never be a day when I look at crap food and say "HELL no, I don't want that nasty ass food!". That just won't happen. However, I do think I can be satisfied with good food. No promises.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Accountability, Bitch!!!

OK. I'm doing this one super fast before I talk myself out of it. I'm even going to post it on fb.......IDIOT!!! I have GOT to do something to force my fat ass to get into shape because this weight on me is killing me. I'm tired, I can't keep up with the boys, I don't feel sexy and I WANNA FEEL SEXY! So, I'm going to *try* to post everyday. We'll see how that shit goes....probably not when I have the boys (Thursday-Sunday) but who knows....if I'm not eating like I usually do then I might have all sorts of time to do shit.

Day 1: not done yet but who the fuck cares....gotta post this. I WENT RUNNING!!!!! It was so amazing! Yes, it was only for 15 minutes but fuck you, it counts!!! I was a-jigglin' all over the fucking place but I didn't get a cramp and I didn't feel like I was going to die....WIN! I guess once a runner, always a runner.

My plan for today: Basically, no eating shit. Gotta keep it simple. Maybe Kashi for breakfast.....garden burger for lunch....can't think of anything for dinner so we'll see.

I'm excited! And you should be too! Good-bye and FUCK YEAH!

PS....I ain't doin' the before and after picture so fuck off.