When Dove Cries...because I prefer the parody over the real deal.

   

 I do things completely ass backwards most of the time...I also tend to do things half assed. Come to think of it I have no idea how I am able to accomplish anything. Anyway, true to form I watched the male Dove Experiment parody before I watched the real version (but I did watch it all the way through....so HA!). I'm not super sentimental nor do I have 50 billions hours of free time so I thought I'd skip the lady one without really missing anything fabulous. And I was right. Although it's beautiful and poignant, it didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. I adored the Dove real body pictures where the women of all sizes posed naked much better.

Well, fuck. I coulda sworn they were nakies. Oh well. Still awesome. 

Anyway, I was watching the real version when Marco comes in and asks what I was watching. So I explained what the commercial was all about, which was really difficult to do in 10 words or less....that's about his attention span if there aren't drums or a laser light show involved. I cut to the chase when I saw the glazed look and simply said, "it is trying to imply that women don't see how beautiful they really are" to which he replied, "Or how ugly they really are". He was dead serious! I tried to explain it 2 more times and finally gave up. Before he left the room he put his arm around my shoulder and said "I get it...you know, you don't know how beautiful YOU are".

HUH!?!!?! I don't know why I'm surprised. He's Wayne Newton in a 9 year old's body. Full-o-charm. Last night he joined me outside for my nightly picnic dinner. We ate and talked and mocked Ari (the 4 year old) together...Ari has a radar on me that alerts him when I sit down or feel any joy what-so-ever. He gets the signal that I'm content and rushes to demand something, ANYTHING...as long as it requires me getting up or experiencing discomfort. Then and only then does he feels like he's done his job as a 4 year old. Anyway, even Ari's plot didn't harsh my mellow. It was still so sweet getting to hang out with Marco. I flashed forward 20 years to us hanging out on his back porch and mocking HIS 4 year old as we enjoyed a nice burger. My little bright white Wayne Newton:). Of course lil Wayne just got sent to bed at 7:00PM for sitting on his brother until he puked. Nah, still good:)

PS I almost put up a pictures of Wayne but upon closer inspection via google I decided....um...no. I kinda wanna say something about the scary factor but I think I'll just gracefully/awkwardly fade away............