Cabbage Soup Detox Diary

So I'm always the last to know about all these diet fads and I'm sure there are a million reasons why NOT to do the cabbage diet but I say "fuck it". My biggest concern at this point is the amount of grossness that I put in my body. The cabbage diet is supposed to be a good safe detox from all the sugar, carbs, and general nastiness we put in our bellies. The juice diet didn't do it for me because I needed to chew something. Well, I will definitely get to chew on this one. Chewing's awesome:D. I researched a lot of different blogs with the recipe and description of each day. The Divas Can Cook one wasn't stupid so I'm going with that one. So here we go!


Day 1: FRUIT DAY! (sweet sweet watermelon....oh and puke in a bowl)

Warning! Do NOT eat with your eyes!

Cabbage soup- not bad for a half a day....after the hungers set in I was practically eating watermelon and droopy cabbage with my hands. I'm not hungry but the sugar that's seeping out of my body is trying to find something to make it hush.

Challenge: The 4 year old has been having asthma attack after asthma attack all fucking day. Every time I hear him cough I want to run to the pantry and lick the nutella jar clean (since I cleaned all the naughty stuff out, nutella is the naughtiest thing I have around). Not being able to help him makes me so crazy cakes!

Day 2: VEGGIE DAY! (ew)

"Prewashed and Ready to Eat Steam in the Bag Stinky Pee Asparagus", I love you!

A lot easier even though it's veggie day. I had a steamed and mashed potato for breakfast....then asparagus all day long (you can eat as much veggies as you want today but asparagus are the only veggie I don't hate). I got sick of the cabbage today but the broth is still yummy.

Challenge: I had a friend over tonight night and it was hard to not want the yummy drink he was having!!! I'm a sucker for sweet adult beverages:(. BUT I stayed strong!!! GO ME!

Day 3: VEGGIE AND FRUIT DAY!

Looks like I slaughtered a fuckin' gremlin and ate it with the pink shit that came out of the Poltergeist hole. Appetizing.

My boys are gone and the only thing prying me out of bed this morning was the thought of that giant beautiful watermelon on the fridge;)Not supposed to eat a potato today but I found this day to be difficult so I cheated and mixed in a little veggie patty with my cabbage. I also had all the fruit and veggies I can handle.

Challenge: After calculating my budget for the summer I realized I can only spend about $130 a week (and that's pushing it). My boys eat on an average $150 worth of food a week. Plus, I wanted to take them on a trip at the end of the summer so knock off another $50 a week to save for that trip. Plus, my friend is getting married so I will need to save for THAT trip....another $10 a week to save. Oy.
1. Calculating how much money we eat a week makes me hungry.
2. Wedding cake=hungry.
3. Beach Trip=thoughts of banana dacharies=HUNGRY!
4. Broken period button on the keyboard that I have to press down on with with strength of a a motherfucking elephant every time I use it=SOFUCKINGHUNGRY!!!

Thoughts on Day 1-3: I don't weigh myself so as far as being able to lose 10 pounds on this I wouldn't be the one to ask. BUT I do have a lot more energy and I haven't had a candy bar in 3 days!!! I think this is a good start to a "diet" or just to eating better. Tomorrow begins bananapalooza and I'm quite excited about that because I LOVE bananas!!!